Hardwired Circuits and the Dictatorship of Genes

Neuroscientists and popular science writers alike have long insisted that our brains are composed of hardwired circuits, as though each neuron were a loyal bureaucrat following orders from a dictatorial gene. Recent “discoveries” confirm this vision in stunning detail.

---

The March of the Neurons

Observations indicate:

• Neurons operate like obedient functionaries, executing pre-programmed instructions with mechanical precision.

• Circuits are “hardwired,” meaning they are immune to persuasion, negotiation, or creative improvisation.

• Genes serve as supreme commanders, issuing mandates that dictate the layout, function, and “loyalty” of each neuronal unit.

Behaviour, it seems, is nothing more than a perfectly orchestrated bureaucratic operation, with emotions, decisions, and impulses as by-products of top-down command structures.

---

Methodology (For Those Brave Enough)

Experimental protocols include:

1. Genomic directive mapping, identifying which DNA sequences correspond to which neuron “instructions.”

2. Circuit fidelity audits, verifying that each neuron follows its programming to the letter.

3. Behavioral compliance monitoring, assessing the success of genetic mandates in shaping cognition and action.

Preliminary results suggest that attempts to modify behaviour through learning or experience are merely tolerated deviations, akin to employees taking a coffee break in a strictly regimented office.

---

Implications

The implications are profound:

• Human agency may be little more than a bureaucratic illusion, produced by obedient neuronal officers.

• Plasticity is recast as minor clerical discretion, subordinate to the dictatorship of genes.

• Social, cultural, and symbolic influences are interpreted as “noise” in the system, rather than as legitimate drivers of potential.

---

Relational Ontology (Whispered Caveat)

Of course, relational ontology reminds us that brains are fields of structured potential, and neurons are not rigid functionaries. Behaviour emerges relationally, not from fixed genetic command. But why let accuracy get in the way of a compelling narrative about the tyranny of DNA over your every thought?

---

Next in the Series

Brace yourself for “Neural Networks Learn (Because They Are Secretly Smart)”, in which artificial networks are revealed to possess uncanny intellect, ambition, and social awareness, rivalling the finest overachieving graduate students.