Quantum Entanglement — Cosmic Telepathy

Entanglement is routinely described as two particles communicating faster than light, or worse, as some kind of mystical mind-meld. The metaphors shift uneasily between physics and paranormal romance: “spooky action at a distance,” “instant messaging between particles,” “cosmic telepathy.”

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The Metaphor Problem

• Communication metaphor: suggests particles are sending messages, like teenagers texting under the dinner table.

• Bond/relationship metaphor: particles become soulmates, sharing thoughts and feelings across the universe.

• Spooky action metaphor: spooky for whom? It’s only spooky if you’re clinging to an ontology of independent billiard balls.

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Why This Is Misleading

1. Projects human social models onto particles — as though quarks gossip about their spin states.

2. Confuses correlation with causation — entangled measurements are correlated, not “sent” across space.

3. Reinforces the myth of hidden wires — we end up hunting for the invisible telegraph system tying the universe together.

The irony: the metaphor that was supposed to clarify entanglement makes it sound even more like supernatural hocus-pocus.

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Relational Ontology Footnote

Entanglement isn’t two things linked across a distance — it’s a single relational construal actualised across perspectives. There is no “communication” because there are no independent entities first that then connect. The metaphor of messaging presupposes separation, but entanglement is the refusal of such separation at the systemic level.

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Closing Joke (Because Parody)

If particles really were texting each other, the Large Hadron Collider would just be the world’s most expensive phone charger. And Schrödinger’s cat wouldn’t be dead or alive — it would just be left on “read.”