Algorithms as Decision-Makers

Metaphor: Algorithms are frequently described as “making decisions,” as if they possess judgment, discretion, or agency.

Problem / Misleading Aspect: This metaphor encourages readers to attribute human-like reasoning to processes that are purely relational and procedural. It can mislead users, designers, and regulators into thinking algorithms have intentions, accountability, or moral understanding, obscuring their true nature as structured relational alignments of inputs, rules, and outputs.

Relational Ontology Correction: Algorithms are emergent relational patterns, optimising outputs according to defined objectives and constraints. No comprehension, deliberation, or intentionality is involved. “Decisions” are the outcomes of relational processes, not cognitive acts.

Parody / Conceptual Highlight: Taken literally, one might imagine an algorithm pausing to weigh pros and cons, debating ethical dilemmas with its fellow routines, or signing a contract before approving a loan. The humour highlights the conceptual misstep: the decision-maker metaphor misleads by projecting agency and judgment onto purely relational, statistical processes.