The Multiverse as Shopping Mall

Metaphor: Multiple universes are sometimes imagined as adjacent stores in a giant cosmic mall, each with its own décor, products, and sales.

Problem / Misleading Aspect: This metaphor imposes compartmentalisation, accessibility, and human-scale order on what is meant to describe speculative relational potentials. It trivialises cosmological theory by suggesting that universes are discrete, easily navigable entities, and that one could casually “visit” them. The metaphor also invites teleological assumptions — that universes exist for inspection or comparison, rather than emerging relationally.

Relational Ontology Correction: The multiverse, if it exists, consists of relational potentialities rather than physical storefronts. Each universe is an actualisation of different configurations of matter-energy-spacetime alignments. There are no corridors, escalators, or check-out counters, and no universal curator ensuring variety or balance.

Parody / Conceptual Highlight: Taken literally, one might imagine parallel Earths queuing for cosmic cafés, aliens losing their parking spots, or a sales assistant in Universe 47 asking for a loyalty card. The humour illustrates the conceptual misstep: treating speculative cosmology as a familiar shopping environment risks flattening complex relational structures into a human-scale narrative that misleads more than it illuminates.